Before you can change your mindset and take the route to your new life, you need to get an accurate view of your starting point. Most people lack self-awareness so it shouldn't be a surprise to see after you do some reflecting that you're not 100% who you think you are.

Self-reflection is an ongoing thing because if you were to only do it once then you're only going to see who you are at that time. You're going to eventually change in some way and it's important to notice it when it's happening so you can keep an accurate view of who you are.

I'd say it's to reflect every week at a minimum, but ideally, it's preferable to do it every day. I understand that not everyone has the time to do this, but if you care about something you make the time.

I use an app called "Stoic" and it allows you to write a short journal at the beginning and end of every day, just a few lines. Then you can track your mood and highlight what you're going to focus on for the day. If you were successful you can log that and also if you weren't.

They are not sponsoring this post by the way, but they should.

After you've got an idea of who you are right now, you can then move on to setting goals to improve. This is where your journey truly starts.

Feedback from people

Getting feedback from people is a mixed bag. People perceive things in different ways and factors like culture come into it as well. You might be seen one way in England but in a completely different way in the US. It's still good to speak to people, especially ones who know you well to understand how you look to other people. The answers won't all be the same, but every opinion helps.

It's important to know how you're seen by the public so you can adjust your behaviour if needs be, and so you can stop being so anxious. You might think people avoid you for 100 different reasons and that you're the worst, but it's actually because you've got a resting bitch face. It can be as simple as that.

People might say that you're blunt in the way that you speak, or they may get more personal and say thing about the way you look or smell. It's not an easy thing to hear, but it's nice to know you don't smell good.

Aim to be yourself, but understand how that looks to the audience. Some things you can't change about yourself and some things you won't want or need to change about yourself. Not everything about you needs to be changed because other people don't like it.

Writing

Writing is in my opinion the best way to reflect on your life, but I understand it's 2024 and some people might want to record themselves. There is nothing quite like seeing your life in words in front of you. You can't escape it, but you can escape the mental cage that these thoughts once had you in.

Whilst you're writing these things down you're going to come to realisations, and then again once you read it back. It doesn't have to be shown to other people, it shouldn't be as other people's opinions on your personal thoughts aren't helpful. People might try and demonise you for having an honest thought that could be considered controversial.

Writing is fun and you can hold a record of what you were thinking and when. You can also mention your feelings on a given day and use it as a reminder of where you've come from and compare it to where you are now.

Meditation

Meditation isn't what you think it is. It isn't some hippy wellness trend where you sit in a room and think about nothing to unlock your third eye. It's actually impossible to think about nothing, so mediation should be used to think about one thing, and that can be where you are in life. I don't try and control what I think about, I let it happen naturally.

I have too many attention problems to meditate in a room sitting still, so I like to do it whilst walking or hiking. It allows you to get some exercise as well, and not everyone has a quite place at home to sit and think. Some people have families and not everyone lives in a quiet neighbourhood.

You can meditate in other ways too, there is no strict way to do it. Some recommend that you use the time to go through breathing techniques. Meditation can even be done whilst you're gardening or cleaning. Wherever you get the time and space to think with clarity. You might meditate already without even noticing it.

Tracking and monitoring

In the modern day, there are plenty of ways to track and monitor different aspects of yourself and your life, and it's a good form of self-reflection. Be careful not to over track yourself as that can cause more harm than good, but I think some tracking is necessary to help achieve your goals.

If your goal is to lose weight then it's important to track your eating habits and how much physical activity you do. If your goal is to learn a new skill then you need to track your progress so you can see where you're going wrong and learn how to improve.

Many things that we do can tell us little things about who we are as people, and when put together we can gain a better perspective of ourselves. Even what comes out of us can tell us about ourselves. I'm not joking but look at your shit, it tells a story about your diet.